Pam Solem-Weser
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Do you feel lonely in your marriage?  

Do you feel out of love with your spouse? 

Do you feel hopeless that your marriage will ever be the fulfilling relationship that you long for? 

Have you gone to marriage counseling and not found it to be helpful in bringing lasting change in your relationship? 

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is different from standard couples therapy.  


EFT helps you find the closeness and intimacy you long for in your relationship.  It will help you end the loneliness and pain in your marriage. Problems such as: poor communication pain of infidelity lack of intimacy lost feelings of love  and more.... can all be helped with EFT. 

EFT is research based and research proven. Studies with distressed couples found that:   90% of couples reported significant improvement in their relationship 70-73% reported complete absence of distress at the end of therapy. Trends indicated relationships continued to improve after therapy ended   

The basis for EFT is found in attachment research.  Attachment theory states that everyone has a need to feel close and connected with others, and this is especially true with our partner.  When partners feel insecure and/or distant from each other, they can get caught in negative, self-reinforcing patterns of interaction.  In these patterns, both people hide their deeper feelings such as hurt, sadness, loneliness, or fear and instead show defensive feelings of anger or indifference.  This results in both parties seeing only the outward expressions of hostility or apathy in the other, which creates distance between them.    EFT helps break these negative cycles of interaction and establish a safe, secure bond where couples feel close and connected with each other. As their intimacy deepens, they are able to solve their problems more easily.  

I am a member of the International Centre For Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT) in Ottawa, Canada, which was established by the founder of the theory, Dr. Sue Johnson, to ensure that the research, training, and implementation of EFT continues its high standard of excellence.  I have completed the basic training and year-long advanced training, supervision, and evaluation of my therapy skills to demonstrate competence in EFT to become a Certified EFT Therapist and Supervisor through ICEEFT.To become an ICEEFT Certified EFT Therapist, candidates must meet various pre-requisites and complete several EFT training and supervision requirements including an intensive 4-day basic EFT Externship, Advanced training course(s), consultation / supervision by a Certified EFT Supervisor and review by a Certified EFT Trainer at ICEEFT of 2 different video excerpts demonstrating the therapist’s grasp of the model. For more details, please visit  

I use EFT therapy with all of my couple and family clients.  I have enjoyed great success with using EFT to help couples establish close, connected relationships. For more info on EFT see About EFT section of this website. For even more EFT info and for relationship assessments, see Resources section.   


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